Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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