why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize