google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
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So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
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You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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