I'm jealous of your bromance
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
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im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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