you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
