PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
