All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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