im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
