Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
