So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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