I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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