Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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