This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize