is wine microwaveable?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize