Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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