do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
