So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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