We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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