Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
