I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
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after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
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Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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