hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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