I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
