im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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