Whod you bang
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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