i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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