How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize