Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
people are starting to question the shark bite story
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
