I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
