Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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