Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
