Don't you send me to vm
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..