you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
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Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
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Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.