have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
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He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.