Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
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On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
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The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis