The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
