If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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