I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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