I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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