another moral hangover. fuck.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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