I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
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We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
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His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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