Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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