Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
The struggles of a small town man whore
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
