I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
