If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
