i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
What a dumb baby whore.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
