Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
