so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
