God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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