..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
