Can Purell be used as lube?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
