He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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