he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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