i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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