Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
