i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Come see our sink grown plant.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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