That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
