we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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