I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
is it fun? or sober?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
