Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
