conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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